When the last child finally ventures into young adulthood, you're left standing in a home that feels emptier than it has in decades. You've done well, and you should be proud of yourself for raising independent children who are ready to take the world by storm.
Now that they're off starting their own adventures, you (or maybe you and a spouse) face the big question of "What comes next?" For years, your energy, time, and finances have centered around raising your family and doing what's best for them. Your next chapter starts now, too. Do you know what you want to do with it?
In this new "empty nest" season, it's important to find ways to feel fulfilled outside of your kids.
Your Earning Power and Your Freedom Are Peaking at the Same Time
By the time your kids are grown and living independently, you're likely reaching some of your career's highest earning years. Often, this happens in the last five to 10 years before retirement. When kids are out of the house, your financial obligations at home tend to drop (fewer mouths to feed, no more college to pay for). Higher pay, combined with fewer financial obligations, means more disposable income to redirect toward your goals.
At the same time, your schedule has likely opened up, too. No more weekend sports practices, extra appointments, and other kids' activities to occupy your nights and weekends. You've reclaimed your time and your money. That's a powerful combination.
Who Are You Outside of Being a Parent?
Before you can start planning for your next chapter, it's important to reconnect with yourself and your values. For years, you've been "so-and-so's parent."
Ask yourself:
Who am I when I'm not actively raising children?
What do I want my time to feel like?
What have I put off that now feels possible?
There are no right or wrong answers, as long as they accurately reflect you. Once you sit with these questions, you can start to better align your spending and saving with the things that are genuinely important to you now. Your wealth is going to be the tool that either supports or limits your potential for enrichment and fulfillment, and it all depends on how you use it.
Spend by Design, Not by Default
There's an important distinction between spending by default and spending by design. A change in household spending or expenses may mean a cash flow surplus that didn't exist previously.
The key to making the most of that surplus is to redirect it with intention, based on what's important to you right now. First and foremost, you may find it prudent to increase your retirement savings, especially since you are likely in your peak earning years. If you have high-interest loans or "bad" debt (credit cards or personal loans), prioritizing paying that down is another strong move.
With those addressed, consider setting aside a little each month into a separate savings (think of it as a "freedom fund"). This is your "fun money" to spend on activities that are fulfilling and purposeful to you. Maybe you'd like to travel to a new country, take a sabbatical from work, or upgrade your living space. A separate savings account can support the things that will bring greater purpose to your second act.
Your “Someday” List Has an Expiration Date
In this stage of life, you likely have the health, energy, and curiosity to do things that have been on your "someday" list for years. Maybe that's extended travel, learning a new sport, going back to school, or pursuing an experience that requires a level of physical or mental engagement that's not always guaranteed later on in retirement.
You're in a rare position right now where both your capacity and your resources line up. Instead of deferring every life experience until retirement, this phase allows you to begin integrating those goals into your life now, while you're able to fully enjoy them.
Protect Your New Direction
Once you start revisiting goals that sat on the back burner, it's important to protect your new financial direction. You may need to talk to your children about boundaries, particularly when it comes to providing ongoing financial support. For example, do you want to keep paying for your children's health insurance until they're 26? Or encourage them to join their new employer's plan? What about car insurance, cell phone plans, and subscription services?
There are probably financial ties lingering between you and your kids. Decide what you're comfortable continuing to pay for, and where you'd like them to take financial ownership. Being clear and upfront helps avoid future disagreements or confusion. You may even find that you're covering more costs than you realized, which frees up cash flow you didn't know you had.
Celebrate This Chapter
This new life stage is one worth celebrating, and I encourage you to make the most of it. While becoming an empty nester can be bittersweet, it also presents an exciting opportunity to reimagine your day-to-day and revisit personal priorities that have long since been forgotten. Decide what would be most fulfilling to you, redirect your spending or saving, and align your decisions with those priorities going forward.
If you'd like to revisit your financial picture with a fresh perspective, you're welcome to reach out and schedule time with me. I'd be happy to review where things stand, check in on your long-term goals, and look for ways to better align your wealth with the enrichment you're working toward.
The Hatlestad Group is an independent wealth management firm based in Edina, Minnesota, primarily serving successful head-of-household women, late-career executives, and pre-retirees. With a tailored approach to fee-only comprehensive wealth management, they empower clients to live out their next chapter with vision, wisdom, and resources, creating a purposeful and meaningful future. They can be reached by phone at (763) 259-3637, via email at info@thehatlestadgroup.com, or by visiting their website at thehatlestadgroup.com.
The information presented is based on sources believed to be reliable and accurate at the time of publication. This material is for educational purposes only and does not necessarily reflect the views of the author, presenter, or affiliated organizations. It should not be construed as investment, tax, legal, or other professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your specific situation before making any decisions.